A Thought: The X Factor

What the hell is wrong with the UK?

The dull, dull, dull MacDonald Brothers are never in the bottom two, but silky-voiced Robert goes home!!!!!

Problems, people. Problems.

Gaffney Is Genius!!!

Who'd have thought it, eh? I'm A Celebrity this year has got even better!

I was always backing Dean Gaffney to come in over the boring Emmerdale bird, but he completely exceeded my expectations... I haven't laughed that much in my entire life!

He arrived, looking disorientated, unsure of where he was or whether he was being set up and announcing he'd vomited four times on the way in. Nice. Then Ant and Dec calmed his fears by playing him video footage of the established campers reacting not too happily to the thought of a new member joining them.

What followed was the most hilarious half hour of television this year as Gaffney went round the Bush spa sticking his head in vomit fruit and climbing into a baby crocodile-filled jacuzzi, all the while screaming and shouting randomly and working himself into a panicked frenzy!

I cannot even describe to you how hilarious it was, all I'm hoping is that it will be posted on the Official ITV 'I'm A Celebrity' Website. I need to see it again and again and again and again...

EDIT: Watch it HERE now!!!! Ahahahaaa....

So Demure...

Blogger fodder Lindsay Lohan starred in yet another tasteful, classy photoshoot this week, this time for GQ.

Lindsay, if Tara Reid can do a complete 180 in terms of style, surely you can cut the trashiness too?

Insult Me? Insult God.

Good to see Black Eyed Peas' songstress Fergie has everything in perspective...

"I may not have the type of voice you like, but I can sing. You can't take that away from me, 'cause singing is a gift from God, and when people say I can't sing, it's kind of like insulting God."

Riiiiight.


Source: Oh No They Didn't

Ugly Betty

No, this isn't a self-loathing diatribe about how much I hate the way I look... it's a new American TV comedy-drama that rocks! Ugly Betty is a shiny, glossy look at life at an American Vogue-a-like magazine called Runway, seen through the eyes of Betty; a lovely, kind-hearted girl who's not as blessed in the conventional looks department as most of the other women who work there.

The usually-beautiful America Ferrera plays the title role and is so damn endearing it should be illegal.


The great thing about it is that despite it seeming much like it's The Devil Wears Prada for TV, it can't be contained as one thing. One minute it's comedy, then romance, then thriller, but it's painted in bright colours and simple brushstrokes and I love its cartoony goodness!

Channel 4 have bought it to save their Friday night schedule, and with bright British actresses Ashley Jensen (Extras) and lovely Lucy Davis (The Office) making fairly regular appearances as well as Alan Dale (Neighbours' Jim Robinson & The OC's Caleb Nichol) being superbly dastardly, I hope it does well over here.

I've seen about 7 episodes so far and I pretty much adore it. So I hope you do too when it airs over here in the UK!

Another Willis-related Post...

and he looks damn hot in it.

As Popjustice have pointed out the narrative of this video seems a little blurred... although I'm not sure he's acting the part of a terrible male prostitute.

Although it's an interesting theory...

The single's out on December 11th and his album (also called Don't Let It Go To Waste) is out on MONDAY!

MONDAY I TELL YOU!

GO BUY IT!!!

The Mighty Boosh: Live

This week the greatest comedy show EVER The Mighty Boosh released its live DVD.


This trailer has got me all excited for it, and, had I not just spent a ridiculous amount of money on beauty products for my bathroom cabinet, I would be rushing to the shops to purchase it right now.

Sadly, until payday I'm going to have to sit here and watch this mighty showcase of clips from it again and again...

Go buy it and line Julian Barrett and Noel Fielding's pockets with gold so they can play Howard Moon and Vince Noir forever and ever and ever...

The Upcoming Week...

So this week another reality show begins... and we hope Matt Willis will come out victorious as King Of The Jungle... or something less silly, but either way with his dignity fully intact. Hmm...

His official website has a video download available (when you pre-order his amazing new single Don't Let It Go To Waste) which was filmed as he was about to leave for Australia I believe.

In it he reveals he's not looking forward to going on the show, that he's turned it down a few times because he thought it was tacky, and his ideal jungle-mates would be Dave Grohl, Liz Hurley or 'someone with a pub on them...'.

I fear this does not bode well for the upcoming weeks.

James Bourne has allegedly poured scorn upon his former Busted bandmate for accepting the offer of reality TV, saying he turned down 'Love Island' and doesn't understand why Matt would do 'I'm A Celeb' in his 'fragile state' and that it's 'career suicide'. Ouch. All this from a guy now touring with Bowling For Soup and Wheatus.*


Come on Willis - POSITIVE THOUGHTS... you're going to be in there with the genius that is Jason Donovan... plus annoyingly self-absorbed David Gest and Scott Henshall, but lets not dwell on them.

I say some subtle singing of new album tracks round the campfire is in order, slowly getting them into the public's subconscious in a Peter Andre - Insania type way.

Although Willis's stuff is far superior to the Andre's. I mean FAR superior.

Oh and about the campfire - if your luxury item is hair product, Willis, please don't get too close to open flames.

So, to sum up - This week is all about ITV's I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, and Matt Willis winning the country over with his winning mix of charm, good looks and personality.


*Okay, that sounded bitchy and mean. Truth is I love the puppy dog like qualities of James Bourne, he was a comedy genius on shortlived series America Or Busted AND I went to see Wheatus live after their only hit over here and found them quite entertaining. Especially the guy that shakes fruit around. In fact Wheatus and Bowling For Soup have had their material bought by me in the past... I just can't have people insulting the Willis... even if it's only backed up by The Mirror and I vaguely, possibly, agree with the content of the accusation. Ahem.

The OC: Season 4

The OC is back baby!

After the disappointing season 3 alienated most of it's audience and saddened its most diehard fans (including me) I had low hopes for the new season of The OC.

However, spurred on by the fact Mischa Barton's life-sapping character Marissa was killed off in the finale (showing she can both cry and die convincingly, if very little else) I was willing to give the show a second chance when I had the opportunity to view the first three episodes of the new series.

I can categorically say that it has regained its genius! (Spoilers below.)



Ryan's not a boy anymore, he's a MAN... cage-fighting in the opening episode and glowering slightly in every scene. He's become more chiselled, more Chino... more wow...

Seth's comedy is BACK. He's funny again, oh how I missed the Seth-comedy. And, even if the scripts take a downturn later in the series, he's got a comedic tattoo now which will be sure to raise a grin whenever it's shown.

Everwood's Chris Pratt has joined the cast as Summer's new 'environmentally conscious' pal. You see, when Marissa died and Summer went off to Uni, she didn't deal with the whole 'death of best friend' thing. She hid under issues of the planet. She's saving the world, one tree at a time, she's also embraced knitwear in a big way. Chris Pratt raises many chuckles in his role, some of the lines he gets are truly genius.


All in all, there's more comedy courtesy of Taylor Townsend and Seth especially, some fantastic sunglasses and a new life about it I feared we'd never see again. It has the energy of season one, but with more familiarity about it.

Julie Cooper (plus her new overinflated top lip) is genius yet again, with her dastardlyness in the wake of her daughters death almost rivalling the late Caleb Cohen... and even Caitlin Cooper's not annoying anymore. The writers have introduced crazy Luke's two younger brothers who appear to have an affinity for shaving each others' chests... beautiful. Ah, there's so much to mention, but I want to spoil nothing...

So watch it when it airs over here in the UK... I promise the magic is back!

Lash Is Listening To...

Here are some tunes I'm recommending everyone listens to today...

• Transylvania - McFly
• Lived In Bars - Cat Power
• Rehab- Amy Winehouse
• Something Kinda Ooooh - Girls Aloud
• Fat Children - Jarvis
• Dickhead - Robbie Williams (I swear Ant McPartlin is on this track...)
• Food - Nellie McKay
• Patience - Take That
• Don't Let It Go To Waste - Matt Willis

Ferrell is the Phantom...

Willis To Win!

Well, that's annoying. This year I'm not even going to be able to pretend I won't be watching 'I'm A Celebrity...' as they've coerced two of my idols, past and present, to eat bugs and the like for the entertainment of the nation.

Yes, the rightful king of rockin' pop Matt Willis (who recently got a 3/5 star album review in serious muso mag Uncut... nice) is heading into the jungle to forget his troubles, as is king of late 80s pop Jason Donovan!

After these GENIUS signings, the list gets a little worrying (yet entertaining) with David Gest, the plastic faced ex-husband of Liza with a Z who will 'only eat from bone china'... can't wait to see how he copes. Myleene Klass, Toby Anstis, Lauren Booth and some other people make up the numbers.

Maybe this will wake the world up to the fantasticness of Matt Willis? Maybe reality TV isn't the place for that though... we shall see...

Chinawhite's Chilled and Cheap (sometimes...)

Last week, on Halloween, I made my debut on to the London club scene by spending the evening at celebrity night spot Chinawhite. Now, I've heard loads of stories about this place from the ridiculous amount of celebrity gossip that I tend to consume along with my daily supplies of oxygen. I know the door almost as well as I know my own front door from the countless photos of mini-skirted, drunken celebs spilling out that fill Heat magazine and the like. So I was pretty damn excited about spending a night there, having been added to the guest list for their 'Black Magik' party through a model-type with the offer of free drinks and a ghoulish show from various performance artists.


More than anything I wanted to see what this place was like, this haunt of Prince Harry on a rebellious night, and I wasn't disappointed. Once the doorman was satisfied we were on the guestlist we were let through the rope and down the steps where a couple of girls were standing with trays of lethal absinthe-filled cocktails, free to warm up the partygoers. And oh, how they warmed us up! By the time a magician arrived at the table we'd snuck on to (reserved for someone else) we were feeling pretty cocooned in our new wondrous world of free drinks and personal friendly service, so we stared in awe as each of the six tricks he performed for us wowed us again and again. He was truly amazing...

Shortly afterwards the people who actually had booked and paid for the table we were sat at arrived and a friendly hostess asked us politely to move, we complied and wandered towards the VIP bar to watch the show. (The bar's purely for the waitresses to come and collect drinks from for the stars in the VIP lounge... this was frustrating when us commoners became drunk enough to convince each other to buy a ridiculously priced cocktail...) A little while into the show a middle aged guy approached us and asked us to come and sit with a band he managed. Now, as I was saying, only the people with serious cash can book the tables so we were grateful for a place to sit and thanked him. We sat down opposite this groomed group of older guys and tried to place their faces... eventually we did. It was INXS, fresh from their big American Pop-Idol-style TV show 'Rock Star: INXS' in which they found a new front man for the band.

So we sat with these guys for a while, slightly starstruck... they were all very nice and completely un-rock and roll... don't think I'm going to ruin any reputations by saying that...

The show that was put on in the club was fantastic, with a contortionist, various magicians, a woman who hung pumpkins from her breasts (ugh) and much more. The evening gets blurrier after that, I remember drinking, a lot of dancing and a hangover the next morning... all in all it was a fantastic night. Don't think I can afford to ever go back if I have to pay for drinks, but still, Chinawhite was a lot more homely and friendly than I could have expected. If I win the lottery or am blasted into the celebrity stratosphere any time soon I'd certainly go back. The next morning I was idly surfing the net in a break at work and found this photo of Martine McCutcheon leaving Chinawhite on the same night we went... thinking again about the 'celebrity' thing, I think I prefer my drunken photos private, I certainly know how she felt...